Tuesday 17th July 2012

We bought a new car today!  Well a new car for us, it is a 2nd hand car and I haven’t even seen it.  Bas went with his dad to take a look and loved it, so made an offer to buy it – we can pick it up next week.  It’s a Renault Modus.  I don’t even know what it looks like!

It is a manual though and I can’t drive a manual (though I’ve tried really hard to learn in the past!).  Little things like this, like not having a licence here or the confidence or experience to drive an auto let alone a manual (whereas in Australia I thought nothing of jumping in the car and driving)- and a lot of other bigger things – like really missing my family and friends back home all add up and am having a harder day today.  Well funnily enough, I just wrote “home” meaning Australia as I still seem to not be able to accept I don’t live there anymore!  But as any Australian will know, there is a song about that.

It’s all been a little surreal being here and is sinking in now and can be tough to confront.  I’m just doing my best, taking it easy and will go from there.  I want to share how I’m feeling though as have had several people saying how “brave” I am to do what I’m doing – but certainly don’t feel it some days!  I also love reading other people’s blogs when they are open and honest and find value in better understanding what others go through and that it’s not always easy – so am being so myself to share my own experiences.   We made this move mainly on my husband’s wishes, though I did make the decision after a lot of deep thinking as do feel it’s best for our little family.  However my life now is so drastically different to just a few months – or even weeks ago, when I had a house I felt at home in, family and friends nearby, a job I loved and a steady income, my own business, regular routine and daycare for the girls, essentially a lot of freedom to get around and do what I wanted when I wanted…but now I feel I’m starting from scratch.  There are both pros and cons to that of course but it certainly comes with challenges.

Anyway, I am focussing on being positive and looking after myself – took a walk and a rest today.  Did some reading – have a few good books with me including Savvy by Rachel Bermingham, 4 exercises by Matt Stevens and The Happy Migrant by Kama Frankling.

I spent more time doing rental research today and have come up with a shortlist of places and look forward to finding our own home soon.  Meanwhile it’s generous of Bas’ parents to let us stay and it is a lovely little place:

summer house

Lovely view of the canal just several metres away (good thing there is no real danger of flooding!) and Sophia and Bas were checking out the boat which Bas used to go out on with his family as a child:

boat and canal

The girls spent some time practising riding their bikes:

Isabella bike

So it was a harder day but they are to be expected I suppose and ultimately I am blessed to have a wonderful family, roof over my head, internet to keep in touch with friends and much much more.